In addition to hopelessness, another primary indicator of an image is a pervasive sense of shame, a feeling of not being worthy or deserving. A specific shame lives in the inner child of all of us, stemming from the time we discovered, with a great shock, that our parents and our world were not perfect. The child has a great need to believe that he
... See moreEva Pierrakos • The Undefended Self: Living the Pathwork
good way to answer this question is in terms of your brain’s three operating systems. If you feel worried, tense, pushed on, or helpless, that triggers the avoiding harms system, so you’d be particularly helped by “resource experiences” related to this system, such as protection, safety, relaxation, strength, and agency. Sadness, disappointment, fr
... See moreRick Hanson • Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence
To avoid the bad feelings, the child slowly learns to identify only with what he thinks of as “good” and to deny anything “bad” as part of who he is. He actually starts limiting his identity to only include what he has come to believe is “acceptable” in the eyes of his parents. Yet another child may despair altogether of getting any good strokes fr
... See moreEva Pierrakos • The Undefended Self: Living the Pathwork
Shame is when you feel like you will never have a place where you are accepted and can feel at home. We have an image we want to project (the first voice) because this internal narrative of shame (the second voice) is driving us. The image we want to project by proving or hiding isn’t who we really are. The driving narration of shame isn’t who we a
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