Motivational interviewing starts with an attitude of humility and curiosity. We don’t know what might motivate someone else to change, but we’re genuinely eager to find out.

Psychologists find that people will ignore or even deny the existence of a problem if they’re not fond of the solution.

“My attachment to my ideas is provisional. There’s no unconditional love for them.”

Psychologists have long found that the person most likely to persuade you to change your mind is you. You get to pick the reasons you find most compelling, and you come away with a real sense of ownership over them.

it’s easy to conclude that the ends justify whatever means are necessary. But it’s worth remembering that the means are a measure of our character.

Basing your identity on these kinds of principles enables you to remain open-minded about the best ways to advance them.

My colleague Phil Tetlock finds that forecasting skill is less a matter of what we know than of how we think.

“I started a dialogue,” he told me. “The aim was to build a trusting relationship. If you present information without permission, no one will listen to you.”

In a series of experiments, interacting with an empathetic, nonjudgmental, attentive listener made people less anxious and defensive. They felt less pressure to avoid contradictions in their thinking, which encouraged them to explore their opinions more deeply, recognize more nuances in them, and share them more openly. These benefits of listening