There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate

“Yes, but look what happens to kids!” Life is life with or without the illusion of control. Children feel the pain of life. Pain and suffering are not the same thing. Suffering happens when we are taught to believe that what is happening to us is wrong and a mistake, and we should have prevented it. We learn to think of life as reward and punishmen

STUDENT: No beatings creates an uncomfortable sense of total freedom. GUIDE: Freedom and spaciousness, that’s what’s there. It’s also a loss of identity because identity is maintained through this insanity we’re describing. That’s what keeps me at the center of the universe. That’s what keeps the whole thing going.

A sinking feeling of “I’ve done something wrong” and a feeling of panic, “What’s the right thing to do now to fix it?” Buying anything for anyone else but never anything for myself.

We are never going to “get” something— a philosophy, a formula, a fixed point of view— that will make us forever different.

It’s No Wonder We Feel Inadequate Self-hate encourages you to judge and then beats you for judging. When you judge someone else it’s simply self-hate projected outward.

The only way out of this life of suffering is through the doorway of compassion. “But how do I find the doorway?” You can’t find it because you are it. The moment there is nothing left of you but compassion, you are the doorway. The door is wide open and you are free.

Aren’t we then quite foolish to maintain the tension? Because with this tense/no control situation, we have two problems: 1. tension/stress and 2. no control over life. In a no tension/no control situation, we would have only one problem: no control over life which can be experienced as frightening or freedom.

Suffering cannot be healed through self-hate. Only through compassionate acceptance can suffering be healed. If we accept, if we open ourselves, life will transform us. If we resist, if we try to run away, pain and suffering are reinforced, and we deepen the conditioning that causes

that, thankfully, has been keeping the personality level from working! (Ours is a spiritual practice and does not have as its goal living a successfully egocentric life.) So here I am at level 4 and I’m trying to become the perfect person, and level 3 is pointing out to me that it’s not working. I’m going to “improve” myself and self-hate doesn’t l