The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

dark angel of grief,

“psychological moralism” places enormous pressure on us to always be improving, feeling good, and rising above our problems.2 Happiness has become the new mecca, and anything short of that often leaves us feeling that we have done something wrong or failed to live up to the acknowledged standard. This forces sorrow, pain, fear, weakness, and vulner

metabolizing suffering into something beautiful

My grief says that I dared to love, that I allowed another to enter the very core of my being and find a home in my heart.

How is it that we have attempted to keep grief separated from our lives and only begrudgingly acknowledge its presence at the most obvious of times, such as a funeral?

These are the places within us that have been wrapped in shame and banished to the farthest shores of our lives. We often hate these parts of ourselves, hold them in contempt, and refuse to allow them the light of day.

When feelings of shame arise, we pull back from the world, avoiding contact that could cause or risk exposure.

He focuses specifically upon the role of ritual in helping to come to this state. He writes, “Closure is important in all transitions, but after a death, there are rites of passage for the survivors as well as for the deceased. Completion of their ritual responsibilities . . . moves the living into a new phase of life. When survivors aren’t allowed

Without an adequate time in the ashes tending the loss, sorrow mutates into symptoms of depression, anxiety, dullness, and despair. We must honor the needs of the soul during times of grief.