The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work: A practical guide from the international bestselling relationship expert

What would be a good sex ritual?

They become so focused on how hurt they feel, on proving that they’re right and their spouse is wrong,

Avoid queries that start with “Why?” People who come from a problem-solving orientation tend to love this word.

The best soft start-up has four parts: (1) “I share some responsibility for this . . .” (2) Here’s how I feel . . . (3) about a specific situation and . . . (4) here’s what I need . . . (positive need, not what you don’t need).

One common form of defensiveness is the “innocent victim” stance, which often entails whining and sends the message: “Why are you picking on me? What about all the good things I do? There’s no pleasing you.”

You can prevent plenty of disasters by terminating discussions that get off on the wrong foot and by shutting down those seemingly endless cycles of recriminations.

To this day, the male cardiovascular system remains more reactive than that of the female and slower to recover from stress.

harsh start-up simply dooms you to failure. So if you begin a discussion that way, you might as well pull the plug, take a breather, and start over.

mercy is “twice blessed. It blesses him that gives and him that takes.”