If you see any situations where you benefit more, call them out publicly and make sure to rectify them as soon as possible. This makes the other person know that you pay your debts as soon as possible and are trustworthy and that you actively care about them and don’t want to cheat them. Of course, this also removes the burden of feeling taken adva

We are constantly at war between these two conflicting desires: for the most possible and for relative equality. Therefore, one of the foundations of friendship is a feeling of equality.

Underlying everything is the fact that people hate feeling guilty (when they take too much) and also hate feeling taken advantage of (when they give too much). If there is inequality in any measure, both parties will feel one of those emotions.

It turns out that we all have specific and subtle signals and hints that massively influence the way we view others and how they view us. Most of them are miniscule, subconscious, and mired in the minutiae—but these are the details that actually make the difference.

Here’s the thing about transactions: they only feel good if they are relatively equal. One-sided deals or relationships feel bad. We’re happiest when the give and take, or cost and benefit, are roughly equal.

This finding exemplified a simple truth: memory and mood are inexorably linked, and manipulating one can manipulate the other.

The latter pair were investigating Benjamin Franklin’s claim that he could easily turn an enemy into a friend with one simple act—asking them for a favor.

Talk to people in terms of what makes them happy. It’s not a radical notion, but it’s not one we are taught to consider.

According to studies, it is actually easier to turn an enemy into a friend than you realize, and they may not even realize that it’s happening. They’ll just notice they have fewer and fewer negative feelings toward you and less of a compulsion to curse your name. Sometimes that’s as good as anything.