The Power of Positive Self-Talk

When you don’t trust yourself, you’re waiting to catch yourself in a mistake so you can pounce on your own certainty about how unworthy of trust you are. You get petty. You become fixated on your mistakes, and you keep a tally of those mistakes. In contrast, when you notice you’ve been numbing out all week beyond a level you’re comfortable with and

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Have you been able to forgive yourself? To accept yourself for who you are and the choices you’ve made? And have you forgiven others for being who they are, with their limitations? Are you able to accept life as it is? Not situations that shouldn’t be tolerated, but the particular life you were given and have gone on to create? Have you been able t... See more

This practice of accepting my feelings without judgment and leaning into self-compassion was the first and most important step in my healing journey. As we always say in the therapy room, you can’t heal what you don’t feel.

I also realized I had to forgive my past self. I had to forgive the version of myself who sat on that couch staring into space,... See more

We shrink from looking at our mistakes and flaws because they are a painful, though unavoidable, part of who we are. Only when I relax my perfectionism can I feel the simple sadness of having done something hurtful to my daughter. I breathe deeply, relax my automatic defenses, and feel the simple pain that completes itself in the act of being felt.

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