For example, research shows with perfect consistency that people in relationships are happier when women and men behave in what in the past has been seen as a traditionally “feminine” way—that is, warm, nurturing, emotionally expressive, and eager to discuss the relationship.

The point is that the differences are not nearly as great as each sex imagines, but let’s face it: the “strangeness” will be more intense for HSPs, with our tendency to process everything deeply, imagine vividly, and sense others’ feelings—in this case including the anger and suffering of the other gender. With all these reasons for tension, distru

You need to heal the effects of a difficult childhood or dysfunctional family (and also of traumas experienced at a later age).

You need to reframe your past in light of your sensitivity, especially those events that have reduced your self-confidence.

We need more than a few new techniques. We need an entire lifestyle that suits our trait and a strong sense of being justified about doing what we need to do.

You need ample permission to turn off some of your sensitivity to the needs of others. This is not selfish—for example, it could make your partner a far happier person. When you try to behave like a non-HSP and help everyone whom you sense needs it, you are bound to succumb to overarousal.

When mothers overprotect sensitive girls, these girls grow up feeling they will always need this kind of overprotection—later a man’s protection—and gladly give up their authority for it. Sensitive sons, loved less by their mothers, grow up expecting to be loved less by everyone unless they can somehow hide their sensitivity.

All HSPs, men or women, are more aware of what other people are feeling, what they want and need. Thanks to your spontaneous deep processing, you also can sense what will happen if others don’t receive what they need—they may suffer, fail at what they want to do, become angry with you, feel disappointed with you. And being more sensitive, when they

For example, often non-HSPs think everyone should enjoy noisy restaurants or “small talk,” and someone who doesn’t is just being fussy, difficult, or demanding. No, this difference makes noisy restaurants and trivial conversations fine for some, but almost unbearable to those who are highly sensitive. Again, this trait is real.