One problem that sometimes arises between partners in sluttery is competition to be the most popular, a concern most of us have carried around in the bottom of our psyches since junior high. Sometimes partners compete with each other to see who can score the most or the most attractive of conquests—an ugly picture. We cannot reiterate often enough:

We’ve both spent many long telephone conversations reassuring our metamours that, yes, it’s really okay, and have a great time, honey. We think your own needs should be of primary importance to you; if you really just can’t be welcoming and supportive, then simple civility can suffice. On the other hand, we also think it’s gracious to be as friendl

SEX DISINFORMATION

To enjoy a free sexuality, you need to come to terms with the body you are living in, unless you want to wait until you lose twenty pounds, which could take forever. Or until you look younger—don’t hold your breath. Do remember: your sexiness is about how you feel, not how you look.

“Oh well—AFOG,” which stands, she says, for “Another Fucking Opportunity for Growth.”

When you find yourself responding to someone else’s behavior, it can be easy to dwell on what that person has done and how terrible it is and what exactly they should do to fix it. Instead, try looking at your own feelings as a message about your internal state of being, and then decide how you want to deal with whatever’s going on. Do you want to

It’s a very good idea for everyone to learn to live single—to figure out how to get your needs met without being partnered so you don’t find yourself seeking a partner to fill needs that you could equally well fill yourself. You might also consider experimenting with some relationships unlike those you’ve tried in the past—instead of looking for yo

Good communication begins with everybody talking about their feelings, long before they get to discussing the pros and cons of any solutions. Good communication is based on identifying our feelings, expressing them, and getting validation that our partner hears and understands what we are saying, whether or not they agree. Emotions are not opinions

“Just tell me I don’t have anything to worry about.”