The Boy Crisis

Dad deprivation is the main hole in the heart common to boys vulnerable to gangs12 and to boys targeted by sexual predators.

But while the changes in a dad’s brain do resemble those in a mom’s, the dad brain also drives contributions that are different from mom’s. For mom, it’s baby talk and staring into the baby’s eyes; for dad, it’s playful touching and behavior, physically moving the baby, and introducing the baby to new objects.34

Last, if Alex feels a little extra crying will get Mom and Dad to compete to give him a few extra goodies—dessert and extra attention—he often exploits their tension like water seeping into a fissure on a roof. The gap between Mom and Dad widens further, and Alex unconsciously learns “victim power.”

being an involved dad creates a “dad brain” that replaces his single-man desires. He’ll experience a decrease in the testosterone previously used in the hunt for sex and recovery after rejection, and an increase in oxytocin emanating from the joys of loving and being loved by an infant who needs him.

If your son is nontraditional, he needs to know that the most important work of his life is selecting a woman who is free enough from social constraints to free him from social constraints.

A key measure of emotional intelligence is knowing that every virtue taken to its extreme becomes a vice. Fearlessness is courage taken to its extreme.

The discipline of postponing gratification is the single most important discipline your son needs.

Item. A study of ISIS fighters concluded that almost all had in common “some type of an ‘absent father’ syndrome.”9

And that value kicks in early. Toddlers whose dads encouraged exploring (while setting limits) had better social and emotional skills twelve to eighteen months later.17