There are stages of recognition, adjustment, and adaptation to an illness, and each family travels through the stages in its own time and its own fashion. When the symptoms are mild and interspersed with periods of good functioning, it is not difficult to attribute them to events such as a death in the family, a divorce, or a temperament that is mo

While the entire family sitting around the dinner table is a pleasant image, a child who has tantrums for three hours and throws food all over the kitchen as a result of a parent’s strong “request” isn’t. Such fantasies have to be let go of for a while.

The misbehavior in children with ADHD is often accidental and usually caused by oblivious inattention, whereas children with bipolar disorders intentionally provoke or misbehave. Some bipolar children are described as “the bully on the playground.”

The well sibling will look desperately to the mother and father to provide protection against a brother or sister who may be threatening or abusive. What the well sibling probably will see are two exhausted, grief-stricken, and confused people, busy running to doctors’ appointments, beginning to pull away from social networks as they become bankrup

It is possible for a child to be rescued from all that rage, aggression, and anxiety. There is, however, no way to know exactly which medication will work for any individual child. It is very much a trial-and-error procedure, and it may take multiple medication trials until the right drug or combination of drugs is found.

One father described how oppositional his nine-year-old son had become and told us that when he asked the boy if he wanted to go to the toy store to buy the toy he had been campaigning for, but informed him that they would first stop for pizza and ice cream on the way, his son’s first response was “No! I’m not going!” When presented as surprises, e

During these rages, which are typically triggered by a simple parental “no,” the child goes into an almost seizurelike tantrum where he or she kicks, hits, bites, punches, breaks things, and screams foul language. This can go on for three hours at a time, several times a day, and can persist through adolescence if the child is not treated.

Children with bipolar disorder have difficulty postponing gratification, taking turns, waiting on others, or holding back an impulse to talk first or have it all. This sets the stage for frequent conflict with others, sadly restricting the possibilities for the adaptive and maturing experiences of sharing, appreciation, and empathy.

In our survey and in direct interviews, we asked parents how they initially understood their child’s early symptoms and behavioral difficulties. The answers that came back to us were varied. Many parents blamed themselves and criticized their own parenting skills. “We thought we weren’t firm enough,” they wrote; or “Maybe we weren’t always consiste