The 5 Love Languages

Poor choices in the past don’t mean that we must make them in the future. Instead we can say, “I’m sorry. I know I have hurt you, but I would like to make the future different. I would like to love you in your language. I would like to meet your needs.”

To remind yourself that “Words of Affirmation” is your spouse’s primary love language, print the following on a card and put it on a mirror or other place where you will see it daily: Words are important! Words are important! Words are important!

Self-revelation does not come easy for some of us. We may have grown up in homes where the expression of thoughts and feelings was not encouraged but squelched.

If you have a pattern of critical and condemning words it may take great effort for you to learn this second language,

Don’t listen to your spouse and do something else at the same time.

ultimately, comfort is not the issue. We are talking about love, and love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself.

Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.

We are not claiming to have warm, excited feelings. We are simply choosing to do it for his or her benefit.

Physical presence in the time of crisis is the most powerful gift you can give if your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts. Your body becomes the symbol of your love. Remove the symbol, and the sense of love evaporates.