Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm

The sensations of arousal are different for everyone, but they might include a feeling of heat centralized in the genitals, a feeling of pleasure expanding throughout your body, and more. These are all experienced through your sense of touch.

You discover that a masterpiece doesn’t actually require you to master anything at all. It simply requires you to feel, to listen, and to trust yourself. That’s

Tell him your desire. Tell him how much you want to suck his cock and how you are going to do it for your own pleasure rather than his. Notice him. Look at him deeply before you begin. Ground him repeatedly. Press down firmly on his body throughout so he knows you are in control. Feel your body. Feel your own sensations as you go. Go further.

Then continue to push her clit slightly from behind, while sucking and moving your tongue over her. You do not need to add speed or pressure unless she asks for it. Keep sucking, but pull your tongue back on top of her clit so she can lock into you. You can create a beautiful arc where you hold her in total stillness as she comes. As she goes over,

Interestingly, receivers value this instruction just as much as their strokers. When she knows he’s focusing on his own pleasure, it takes some of the pressure off. Performance anxiety can be a big part of a receiver’s early OM practice. We women may be tempted to default to old habits of augmenting our experience,

So you must learn to navigate her desire. This cannot be done via force, bargaining, or guilt. It can be done only by careful, deliberate request. When she says no, ask again. And again. You’re not trying to look good here, you’re trying to make your woman happy. These are two very different results. When she says no, do not turn away in rejection.

Be unpredictable. Her orgasm responds to the element of surprise. Don’t think too hard—just let yourself feel. Follow your own sensation wherever it wants to take you; desire co-arises, so whatever feels best to you will be the path of most sensation for her, too. Learn to hold. Once you’ve gotten her to a place of intense sensation, don’t move. Ho

The One-Stroke OM is just that: one fifteen-minute stroke from the bottom of her clit to the top and back down again.

use the same “Would you…” construction. You’re not asking him if he can stroke a little more softly—of course he can, he’s perfectly capable of it—you’re asking him if he’d be willing to. It may seem like a small difference here on the page, but it feels completely different in practice. Alternate making requests and offers, aiming for three to fiv