Short Cuts to Happiness: Life-Changing Lessons from My Barber

To move forward, you also need the wrong foot.”

This circle of creativity of sorts is a space in which children can take risks and try things out, fall down and stand up again, fail and succeed—because they feel secure and safe in the proximity of a person who loves them unconditionally.

he always focused on their effort and hard work rather than on how talented or successful they were:

We so often try to fit reality into our predetermined models, forgetting that our models need to be shaped by reality rather than the other way around. I thought back to all those business school case studies where managers failed because they refused to accept that the market had changed and a new approach was needed.

There is much research on what psychologists call equity theory, which shows that most people have the need to reciprocate what they get from others; in fact, most of us feel discomfort when we’re unable to give back something of equal value. This applies to material things, like a gift or money, as well as to nonmaterial things like kindness or tr

Most parents believe, as I did for many years, that telling children that they are smart or beautiful or talented is a good thing. They think it will enhance their children’s self-esteem, success, and happiness. It turns out, though, that such praise hurts our kids more than it helps them.

usually when we just do nothing and let nature take its course, problems either resolve themselves or the solution becomes apparent to us and we know exactly what we need to do.”

“Moving fast is important, but so is knowing when to sit on the fence and wait.” He then added, “It’s not always easy to wait, and there is often a cost to it, but it’s necessary.”

In contrast, kids praised for effort show no impairment and often are energized in the face of difficulty.”