Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Honor Your Emotions, Nurture Your Self, and Live with Confidence

Ask yourself just who it was in your life that enjoyed archery so much. EI parents often carry quivers filled with debasing comments to shoot at you. Low self-esteem is exactly like going through life with a head full of their arrows. You cannot think without running into those internalized, sharp, piercing arrowheads. Injuries to self-esteem come

We wonder where our health problems or emotional distress come from, because we are taught that unbalanced self-sacrifice is the mark of a good person living a worthwhile life. Unfortunately, it is more often the mark of a person headed for psychological distress, emotional deadening, and physical breakdown.

If you’re feeling antsy, it’s time to take a break. If you’re lonely, maybe it’s time to call someone and tell them just that. If you’re feeling empty, maybe you need time with your emotional or spiritual self. Giving kindness to what you are feeling will fill you up. Don’t keep pushing until the only thing you’re looking forward to is that entire

There is a creation story from the mystical legends of Judaism that says that when the universe was brought into being, it split into two parts: the 1 percent world and the 99 percent world. The 1 percent world is the material, physical world that we know so well. When someone sighs and says, “That’s life,” they are talking about the 1 percent worl

The horse, on the other hand—noble animal that it is—takes its cue from what its owner wants. If the job is to keep working no matter what, it will. Horses will work or race until they drop just because they can. The horse will ignore its exhaustion in order to keep up with the herd (or owner). By the time a horse realizes it has done too much, it

What fascinates me is how we decide which of these inner voices to listen to. How do we tell which voice is a good source of guidance and which is going to get us into trouble? Many people have told me that they had a quiet knowing about a situation way before they took action on it. They could remember when a still, small voice told them the truth

Instead it sounds like a hand-me-down belief that the person took on about herself or himself, like something picked up at the flea-market of other people’s opinions. What such individuals are rejecting is a trait or behavior that doesn’t fit their overly narrow concept of themselves. Maybe that tinny off-note I heard was the sound of anxiety about

If you grew up putting others first too much, you may end up living a life of reaction rather than one of fulfillment. Instead, you can learn to become your own champion and protector, valuing and supporting who you are on the inside. The self-awareness you gain will center and ground you in your true self. Finding your authentic self is an enliven

You push ahead regardless of your fatigue or brain fog. You have to finish before you take a breather because you won’t consider resting before the job is complete. You let yourself rest because you’re done, not because you’re exhausted.