Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Honor Your Emotions, Nurture Your Self, and Live with Confidence

you might tell yourself not to get a swelled head. Even worse, you may tell yourself that because you feel so good, something bad might happen, just to even things out. The brain then puts the brakes on that new outlook or behavior because your mind senses anxiety, not pleasure.

The loud, insistent ego voice pushes and tires you, never letting up on what you should be doing next. Listening to it makes you feel stressed. (“There is so much to do! I should try harder!

Children love it when parents take them seriously and recognize them as real people with their own tastes. Like all human beings, children crave respect. They like to know why they are doing things, and they balk at demands for unquestioning obedience.

For these children as adults, anything less than explicit acceptance from others can threaten their sense of emotional safety.

The same is true with stress. A little bit of stress feels challenging and invigorating, often increasing meaningfulness, purpose, and a sense of importance. But as responsibilities increase as you go through life, you start to habituate to higher and higher levels of stress. Staying busy and feeling pressured begin to feel like the right way to li

Small children always need to express their hurt feelings and fears before they can be truly comforted. Blurting it out is the first step toward solving any emotional dilemma. If we can do that, even on paper, it speeds up solution-finding—much

The truth about children is that they are here to meet their needs, not ours. Some parents don’t realize this and think that children should be willing to act against their self-interest, give up what they want most, and do whatever a parent asks.

The answer is that

That is the way praise is. Think of it as a very bright light you are wielding, and you will know exactly how to handle it. You shine it on what the person has done and talk about that.