The answer is our brain’s natural tendency to fixate on anything that arouses fear or anxiety. It’s called the negativity bias, an inclination well studied by psychologists. We come into this world with only a few innate fear responses, while the rest we learn on the job. But as we learn, we give disproportionately more attention and memory to the

Take your inner experiences seriously. Process them fully. Give yourself adequate contemplative time. Put your thoughts down in a daily journal. Write down your dreams. Learn to become familiar with your inner world through meditation. By so doing, you show dedication to yourself as worthy of being listened to and honored.

The same goes for stressed-out people who pride themselves on staying super busy and constantly productive. This high level of activity and sense of nonstop commitment starts to feel like the norm rather than a warning sign.

Your attitude toward your desire to relax says everything about your relationship with yourself. If you don’t measure up to some imagined level of accomplishment, you may start mentally whipping yourself as though you were racing to come in first in some high-productivity stakes.

Nature’s rampant individuality reflects and intensifies the experience of your own true being. You feel more alive in nature because you sense your value in the grand scheme of things. You find yourself taking on a wider perspective that calms and strengthens. For instance, standing in a grove of trees is like finding yourself among a remarkable gr

It makes you waste copious amounts of time and mental energy, trying to get yourself to think the right way and feeling bad when you fail. You become the perfect host for a virus that says you can never be good enough.

A bout of frenzied writing will often hit the heart of the matter, making you stop and sit back, stunned by the nakedness of an unmet need or childhood fear. Once you have found the core of your emotional reaction, think about it, kiss it right on top of its head, then sit back and figure out what to do about it. With more of your brain involved, y

Don’t forget that your vitality comes from thinking up ideas, whether simple or profound, and then seeing them through start to finish. Anyone who tries to help by taking over or by making unsolicited suggestions, even a parent or spouse, just doesn’t understand that the excitement lies in the autonomy of action, not just in getting the thing done.

Our many responsibilities can make us feel important: our sense of urgency gives our life a certain meaningfulness as we push ourselves to get everything done.