For those of us who struggle with perfectionism, it’s not difficult to find ourselves in a situation similar to Andrew’s, one where we look back and think, I got sucked into proving I could, rather than stepping back and asking if I should—or if I really even wanted to.

As Kelly Rae so beautifully demonstrated, boundaries are simply our lists of what’s okay and what’s not okay. In fact, this is the working definition I use for boundaries today. It’s so straightforward and it makes sense for all ages in all situations.

We can’t be brave in the big world without at least one small safe space to work through our fears and falls.

Rather than saying I failed and it feels so crappy, we move to I am a failure. We act out and shut down rather than reaching out.

Dependence starts when we’re born and lasts until we die. We accept our dependence as babies, and ultimately, with varying levels of resistance, we accept help as we get to the end of our lives. But in the middle of our lives, we mistakenly fall prey to the myth that successful people are those who help rather than need, and broken people need rath

It’s time to rumble. Time to unleash our curiosity. Time to poke, prod, and explore the ins and outs of our story. The first questions we ask in the rumble are sometimes the simplest: 1. What more do I need to learn and understand about the situation? What do I know objectively? What assumptions am I making? 2. What more do I need to learn and unde

As Anne Lamott said, “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” We have the tendency to visualize an entire scenario or conversation or outcome, and when things don’t go the way we’d imagined, disappointment can become resentment. This often happens when our expectations are based on outcomes we can’t control, like what other people think, w

I agreed to do something for someone for the wrong reasons. I wasn’t being generous or kind. I said yes to be likable and to avoid being seen as “difficult.” Moving forward, I give myself permission to ask for what I need—to take care of myself. I can never be sure about the intentions of others, but I believe that assuming the best about other peo

The core (sometimes the entirety) of my SFD is normally these six sentences with maybe a few notes. The story I’m making up: My emotions: My body: My thinking: My beliefs: My actions: