Consequences are effective, respectful, and relationship-building when they are: 1. Logical, reasonable, age-appropriate choices.

Slow everything down. Slow down movements, words, and the time in between them. The younger the child, the more time they need to process our words.

2. Gentle guidance. Calmly say something like, “It sounds like you’re uncomfortable, but it’s hard for me to understand you. Please tell me in your normal voice.” You might add matter-of-factly, “That sound hurts my ears.”

When a toddler feels understood, he senses the empathy behind our limits and corrections. He still resists, cries, and complains, but at the end of the day, he knows we are with him, always in his corner. These first years will define our relationship for many years to come.

children are easily overwhelmed by impulses bigger and stronger than they are.

Most of the choices toddlers can’t comfortably make are about transitions.

and don’t have to take them on… I can be a sounding board for her and gently and firmly follow through and guide her where she needs to go. With this change in perception, I no longer

1. Make the activity a familiar routine and/or give advance notice.

“I won’t let you” (or “I can’t let you” or “I don’t want you to”) instantly connect us person-to-person and clarify our expectations. This is the connection children need first and foremost when they misbehave. Toddlers don’t miss a trick, so they need