No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame

The best way to do this is to give babies predictable, routine kinds of days.

1. Set limits calmly, firmly, gently, and early.

Parents might also need to perfect what I call the “ho-hum stride” and use it to replace lunging towards the baby about to touch the dog’s dish and shouting, “No!”, or charging after the toddler who runs away when it’s time to go home from the park

Rest, food, drink, comfort. Whiners aren’t functioning at their best, often as the result of not enough of these things. Remember, your toddlers are growing rapidly, tire easily, and have low blood sugar attacks before they realize they’re hungry. They’re also sprouting two-year molars, which is bound to create discomfort (and also interfere with s

Many of us received the message as children that strong displays of emotion are unacceptable and conflicts are to be feared. Unfortunately, this perspective makes it next to impossible to stay unruffled with toddlers, who (as I explained above) need to disagree with us and feel safe expressing their strong emotions. Shifting this paradigm is one of

Speak in first person.

Be preventative, prepared, proactive. Our toddlers are naturally curious explorers, so placing them in situations in which this inclination is unwelcome is a set-up for mutual frustration. Also keep in mind that toddlers are easily over-stimulated and fatigued and can seem to go from full to famished in no time flat.

If we hesitate to set a limit with conviction because we’re trying to figure out what is driving our child’s behavior, he or she is left with a faltering, vague, or inconclusive message instead of real help.

Unmet Needs