Naikan: Gratitude, Grace, and the Japanese Art of Self-Reflection

When we shift our attention to the reality around us, to our spouse, our car, the service station attendant, we see countless opportunities to care for others. But those who are most preoccupied with themselves suffer the most. They also fail to experience the satisfaction of attending to the needs of another.

We can witness eyes that scan reality for what they want, failing to see what they are being offered.

“Usually thinking is rather self-centered. In our everyday life our thinking is ninety-nine percent self-centered: Why do I have suffering? Why do I have trouble?” SHUNRYU SUZUKI ROSHI

To live a life of gratitude is to open our eyes to the countless ways in which we are supported by the world around us. Such a life provides less space for our suffering because our attention is more balanced.

Each moment we say thanks is a shift in our attention. A shift away from our self-centeredness toward others. A shift away from our problems and difficulties toward the support we are receiving from the world. Our attention is our life. Shifting our attention opens us to reality and reveals what has been there all along: socks.

We notice the obstacles because we have to get around them to proceed. But what if we go through life only noticing obstacles, problems, and difficulties?

As long as we hold fast to our ideal of what we deserve from the world we blind ourselves to the gifts we are receiving.

Is it possible to act compassionately if our attention is on ourselves?

The recent addition of a thank-you log on my refrigerator door helps compensate for my poor memory.