our inability to tolerate our children’s discomfort teaches them that discomfort is intolerable. This imprisons them in fear and constricts their development.

The descent is most of all experienced as a loss—a loss of freedom, control, ourselves.

Once she has been marked by motherhood, the swan maiden is no longer indistinguishable from her sisters. In her daily toil on behalf of her children, she has become herself uniquely.

Questions for Reflection for Losing Ourselves 1.When have you felt disconnected from yourself? From your children? What is this like for you when you feel this way? 2.The fairy tale in this chapter begins when the king becomes lost in the forest and is therefore susceptible to the witch’s ploy to get him to marry her daughter. Where in your life ha

the return, we will take a closer look at the psychological treasures to which we can hopefully lay claim when we resurface, including mature spirituality, renewed creativity, and an abiding sense of inner authority.

Questions for Reflection for Losing Freedom 1.Both the selkie and the swan maiden have their skins stolen from them when they are unsuspecting and vulnerable. When has some important aspect of yourself been taken from you, perhaps leading you to feel trapped? 2.Where have you stolen your own skin? Maybe you committed to something uncomfortable that

In order to become firmly planted in your unique life, you must sacrifice unlimited potential for the manifested reality of ordinary fate.

Your internalized negative mother may be especially potent if your actual mother was absent, depressed, critical, or emotionally or physically abusive.

Any initiatory journey requires a guide,