He wants to help her feel better by solving her problems. He wants to be useful to her. He feels he can be valued and thus worthy of her love when his abilities are used to solve her problems. Once he has offered a solution, however, and she continues to be upset it becomes increasingly difficult for him to listen because his solution is being reje

To feel better Venusians get together and openly talk about their problems.

It is not a man’s job to fix a woman. She doesn’t need “fixing.” Most of the time she just needs more understanding and affection and her heart will warm up again and her eyes will begin to sparkle.

On Venus, everyone studies psychology and has at least a master’s degree in counseling.

Men need to remember that when women seem upset and talk about problems is not the time to offer solutions; instead she needs to be heard, and gradually she will feel better on her own. She does not need to be fixed.

For centuries the Venusians compensated for this fundamental fear of unworthiness by being attentive and responsive to the needs of others. They would give and give, but deep inside they did not feel worthy of receiving. They hoped that by giving they would become more worthy.

When negative feelings are suppressed positive feelings become suppressed as well, and love dies.

This natural cycle in a man may already be obstructed from his childhood. He may be afraid to pull away because he witnessed his mother’s disapproval of his father’s emotional distancing. Such a man may not even know that he needs to pull away. He may unconsciously create arguments to justify pulling away.

A Martian feels good when he can solve his problems on his own in his cave.