Lying

The temptation to do this is often born of an understanding that others will disapprove of our behavior.

False encouragement is a kind of theft: It steals time, energy, and motivation that a person could put toward some other purpose.

Research suggests that all forms of lying—including white lies meant to spare the feelings of others—are associated with less satisfying relationships.6

For instance, if a rumor spreads that a famous politician once fainted during a campaign speech, and the story is later revealed to be false, some significant percentage of people will recall it as true—even if they were first exposed to it in the very context of its debunking. In psychology, this is known as the “illusory truth effect.” Familiarit

Lying is, almost by definition, a refusal to cooperate with others. It condenses a lack of trust and trustworthiness into a single act. It is both a failure of understanding and an unwillingness to be understood. To lie is to recoil from relationship.

To lie is to erect a boundary between the truth we are living and the perception others have of us.

The moment we consider our dishonesty from the perspective of those we lie to, we recognize that we would feel betrayed if the roles were reversed.

In many circumstances in life, false encouragement can be very costly to another person.

If you deceive your children about Santa, you may give them a more thrilling experience of Christmas. What you probably won’t give them, however, is the sense that you would not and could not lie to them about anything else.