Love Yourself: The First Step to a Successful Relationship

When I yell at myself on the tennis court for not performing to my expectations, I somehow think that I am going to play better. The truth is that I don’t perform better; in fact, I play worse. The more that I am critical of myself, the more performance anxiety I create for myself. Performance anxiety cripples optimum performance. In sports vernacu

She was very upset and kept asking, “So what kind of job are you going to get with a sociology degree?” I didn’t care about my employment opportunities at that time; I just wanted to start studying something that I had a passion for as opposed to forcing myself academically and not doing well.

The response I give to clients when they want me to tell them what they should do, for example, whether or not they should get married, is to ask them the question: “How do you feel emotionally about getting married today?” What I look for is whether they feel comfortable or uncomfortable. If they respond with, “I am uncomfortable getting married t

The language of the critical parent usually is made up of some basic phrases. The first critical parent phrase that I hear frequently is that “I should or shouldn’t” do something. I ask this person, “If someone else told you that you ‘should or shouldn’t’ do something without you asking for their input how would you feel?” Most adults would answer

Unfortunately for this couple, the marriage is the foundation of the family, and when the marriage dies and…

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In both of these responses, the patient believes he is communicating his emotions, but there is no mention of any emotion. He uses the phrase “I feel,” but no emotional words follow. What he is really expressing is his thoughts or judgments, but not emotion.

This may not be the same for someone else; but that’s okay, because you are learning to love yourself and take care of yourself in a world where others may not care about how you feel emotionally. But you do—at least I hope so.

Just ask yourself the question, “Are you comfortable or not with whatever is being proposed?” These two emotions are your guides in life.

The developing adult’s natural tendency is to ask others what she should do. Often in therapy clients will ask me what they should do. They ask questions such as “Should I get married?”, “Should I quit my job?”, “Should I get divorced?”, or “Should I sleep with my boyfriend?” People want me to tell them what to do with their lives. They want me to