Love Life: How to raise your standards, find your person and live happily (no matter what)

Be careful not to confuse a cycle of anxiety and temporary relief with chemistry.

The right person is both right and ready.

we feel increasingly unsafe with the one person everyone else considers our perfect match.

If we feel that we have passed some invisible boundary where it’s no longer socially acceptable to talk about our breakup anymore, we run the risk of experiencing a second wave of isolation. Therapists and coaches can be useful to have around at this stage, if for no other reason than paying for someone’s time can give us license to repeat ourselve

even if these fantasies remain unknown to the object of your attraction, your private fascination still has a way of showing up when you meet again.

Many of us aren’t so lucky, unconsciously repeating the same patterns for years or decades because it’s what we know, what our old behaviors attract, and what our nervous system responds to.

But when we are happy enough, we have nothing to lose because we can look at our life today and recognize that it is already enough.

you can, and will, feel this way again, so long as you are willing to part ways with the previously fixed story you’d been telling yourself about what the old person represented.

One of the love life myths is that somehow love is a special realm where we can be guided by instinct. But this assumes that in childhood we all developed great instincts for every situation.