Love bombing, gaslighting, and the problem with pathologising dating talk

On one hand, there is an importance in gaining clarity when you name certain things. On the other hand, there is a danger that you lose all nuance, that you’re basically trying to elevate your personal comments and personal experience by invoking the higher authority of psychobabble

Not saying anything, which can imply consent Treating it lightly or as something cute or funny in your date Vacillating between doing nothing and having rage fits about it, which conveys a confusing message Making it all your fault and problem instead of your date’s

They become rescuers. They give in to their impulse to save the person from suffering. They call the boss and tell them their spouse was sick when he or she was drunk. They lend more money when they shouldn’t. They hold up the entire dinner for the latecomer, instead of going ahead with the meal. Rescuing someone is not loving them. God’s love lets