still not drinking. Three whole weeks. Can you believe? Instead, I just looked at Boomerangs on Instagram of people clinking glasses and photos people posted of martinis with some “funny” caption justifying their drinking, and I thought about how our society worships at the altar of booze and how it’s more socially acceptable to drink than not to d

Is that why people stay in relationships? Just so they can have someone to tell their stories to, someone who cares if they got home dead or alive, someone who’s thinking of them first thing in the morning and last at night? I’m not asking as a judgment. It makes complete sense.

How strange that we can saw off certain parts of ourselves, so we remain confident in one area, an area that is challenging for others, only to feel completely hopeless in another.

I look around at everything I’ve built for myself, this for-the-most-part impressive life, and I feel proud. But there are times I would trade it in for another chance to sit on a friend’s porch for five hours, drinking boxed wine and recapping last night’s shenanigans—which is silly because you spent the whole evening together, and the only reason

I feel lucky to love exercise. Finally, an addiction that enhances my life. When I run, I stop returning my brain’s texts and I feel fully present in my body:

So many discussions around relationships feel binary. You’re either struggling or you’re not. You’re either content or you’re miserable. These narratives are easier to follow and allow us to think, Well, if X isn’t happening, then we’re okay. The truth is much more complicated and terrifying. You could love someone and want to lose them at the same

“Sometimes it’s easier to just look at yourself as the fucked-up one because it gives you a pass on doing any work on yourself because like, well, at least you’re self-aware,”

“Ethan hates himself, but he doesn’t quite know it. He needs to go to therapy, do the work, realize his self-loathing, and then turn that hate inward like the rest of us. That’s what a real marginalized person does.”

but now that our bellies are full and our brains are covered in the gauze known as alcohol, we can let our hair down and be relaxed. We talk about bigger things than How Was Your Day? We express anxieties and fears. Future plans.