Just by Looking at Him: A Novel

On my one-year sober anniversary, I decided I had finally gotten the hang of this thing called “a present life.” I started a new job and threw myself into challenging projects. I felt productive, focused and in control. And then, something utterly unexpected and exciting happened: I met someone.

all the things I had assumed would make me happy in sobriety never panned out the way I thought they would. Many of the dreams I'd had before I got sober simply do not matter anymore. There are no more dreams big enough to replace this wild new reality. My life is much smaller than it used to be, but it's also the biggest it's ever been.

I’m slowly making a new life. It began by accepting what was; That I was an alcoholic who lacked the power to control my drinking. That I needed help. That I couldn’t go on the way I had been living.

the thing I did that seemed completely impossible at the start was this: I started to live my own life, the one that was meant for me.

I stopped listening to what other people said, I stopped listening to what I imagined people were saying. I stopped listening to the nonsense I said. I started listening to my heart. I stopped pretending and started... See more