It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

Take a current problem. Strip it of all the superimposed layers of your reactions. The first and most handy layer is that of rationalization, that of “proving” that others, or situations, are at fault, not your innermost conflicts which make you adopt the wrong attitude to the actual problem that confronts you. The next layer might be anger, resent

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When an individual can’t (or won’t) do the inner work to heal their pain, the wounds get passed through the generations, metastasizing through our family tree in the form of mental afflictions, patterns of fear, and even physical injury. Until someone in the younger branches has enough support and awareness to face and grieve that ancient grief, it

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After she told the story a couple of more times, I asked her a question that she didn’t expect. I said, “Is this story of what happened really true? Is your conclusion really accurate?” The first thing she said was, “Yes! I was abandoned, and I needed my mother, and I never really did get what I wanted!” Once again I asked her, “What happens when y

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I asked her once again, “Experience the same memory, but withhold your story, withhold the conclusions your mind has made. Don’t judge yourself for making them; just see if you can experience the story without them.” Once again, she closed her eyes and imagined what had happened, and then she opened her eyes, and I said, “Before you tell yourself a

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