We can greatly increase our wit, banter, and conversational intelligence simply by imagining a collaborative and accepting process.

We could stand to play a bit more, since play takes people’s guards down and sets the stage for actual connection.

You’re looking for these breadcrumbs that others want you to pick up on so they can talk about what they want.

Flowing conversations involve a frictionless back and forth. This doesn’t happen when you continually ask questions that stop people in their tracks, make them dig deep, and take them out of the present.

With so much focus on how to extract what you want from other people, what’s been lost is the seemingly simple revelation that conversation should actually be fun and enjoyable.

try to remember that conversation is not about knowledge.

Think of it from the other side—who is more interesting to talk to, the reserved, unconfident person with nothing to say, or the person who confidently brings themselves and their reality to the table?

You can quickly go from an opaque, kind of anonymous person to someone other people feel like they know—and want to know better. You appear more trustworthy, interesting, and complex as a person.

“No” makes people walk on eggshells around you.