This book concluded that, contrary to our expectations, a lack of emotion does not lead to logical, reasoned choices but to chaos. This is because we rely on feelings to navigate our way through our lives. This is true whether or not we are aware of our emotions.

Self-observation helps us to avoid too much self-justification and getting stuck in patterns of behaviour that no longer work for us.

If you do not know how to draw positive meaning from what happens in life, the neural pathways you need to appreciate good news will never fire up.

Some people learn to trust no one, and this causes them to lead lonely and often isolated lives that restrict the possibility of full mental health. In contrast, there are those who trust too much and are therefore too vulnerable. Trust is just an example.

self-observation is the very opposite of self-indulgence. It makes self-responsibility possible.

Sensory-awareness thoughts: e.g. sounds, sights smells sensations – 4 Planning thoughts: to-do lists of wants or needs – 3 Anxiety-provoking thoughts: worries or self-deprecating thoughts – 2 Playing back of memories – 0 Fantasies about non-existent situations, relationships or events – 0 Envious, angry, rebellious, critical thoughts: wanting to st

Therefore we need to be self-aware. What stories are we telling ourselves about other people? What dynamic do our stories suck us into, and how do they determine the meanings we put on things and how we define them?

When you are next doing chores around the house – cooking, cleaning, washing, etc. – focus with complete awareness on what you are doing, mentally recording each feeling, thought, sensation or memory as it enters your head.

sometimes a new behaviour feels false or unreal but is merely unfamiliar. In my experience what ‘feels’ true might not actually be the truth, or good for us; it might merely be familiar. And, conversely, what feels ‘false’ might not be; it might just be new.