It’s easy to express commitment to a principle; it’s tougher, and more important, to ask yourself whether your actions demonstrate that commitment.

Ask most people to name the two top reasons for divorce, and they’ll almost always guess correctly: cheating and ruinous money issues. But those are never the reasons for divorce—rather, they’re the symptoms of a bad marriage.

Affairs are also banal and boring. They’re incredibly predictable and, to the outsider, look completely ridiculous. They’re the sexual equivalent of eating an entire Carvel ice cream cake. You knew from the start it was bad for you, you didn’t plan on doing it, but somehow you ended up doing it, and you’re not proud of what you’ve done, even if the

Just because you aren’t holding on to something doesn’t mean you aren’t controlling it.

When is the last time you and your spouse discussed what it specifically means to be “happy” and how you each define that term? When was the last time you discussed, in specific terms, what a “satisfying” sex life is for each of you? These should be conversations you look forward to! They’re about being happy and about fucking, for fuck’s sake!

It’s about life outlook. It’s not so much “I don’t want you to divorce me” but “I want you to be happily married to me.” Those are two totally different ideas. You’re not interested in white-knuckling it through until death does one of you part. You’re interested in having the best, most mutually enriching, joy-filled, good-sex-filled life with som

“If you sit in a barbershop long enough, eventually you’re going to get a haircut.”

Nothing is more expensive, goes the old saying, than that which is given for free.

If you never fully allow yourself to unplug from being married, you never fully recharge. If you don’t step away from the “we” to reconnect to the “me,” you eventually find yourself far from shore (sometimes too far to get home) and lose both.