How to Stay in Love: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together

If you know you’ve got something special, you don’t out of nowhere start behaving in ways to jeopardize that.

The language of “deserving” and “entitlement” and its offshoots—such as the now ubiquitous term “self-care,” used to validate virtually any self-indulgent behavior as some progress toward the greater good—sounds very much like the language used by so many of the people I speak with who’ve had ruinous affairs. They rationalize their behavior as some

No conversation = far less understanding. And in my experience as a divorce lawyer, a reluctance or fear or ickiness about having such a conversation makes consideration of an affair easier, because

Hit Send Now is a way to share how you’re feeling without attempting to explain it. You feel how you feel. And those feelings have repercussions both short- and long-term. They inform how we relate to our spouse or partner on a day-to-day basis. They create habits that build intimacy or distance. We owe it to ourselves and our partners to share the

This always seemed nonsensical to me: Why, of all the people on the planet, would the person you married be the one you always have to be singularly critical of? Why hold the person with whom you signed a lifetime commitment to such a specific and unreasonably high standard? How come we’re encouraged to give our friends a break and understand that

It’s about life outlook. It’s not so much “I don’t want you to divorce me” but “I want you to be happily married to me.” Those are two totally different ideas. You’re not interested in white-knuckling it through until death does one of you part. You’re interested in having the best, most mutually enriching, joy-filled, good-sex-filled life with som

When is the last time you and your spouse discussed what it specifically means to be “happy” and how you each define that term? When was the last time you discussed, in specific terms, what a “satisfying” sex life is for each of you? These should be conversations you look forward to! They’re about being happy and about fucking, for fuck’s sake!

If you’re just holding a grudge and upset with your spouse about something unrelated and it’s impossible to change or undo, tread lightly. We remember the complaints more vividly than the compliments.

well. If you’re arguing about something that’s happened and can’t be undone without the aid of a time machine, really make sure it’s worth having the argument.