Holding Space: On Loving, Dying, and Letting Go

The work of being a doula and a chaplain means cozying up to fear, getting to know it, sitting with its metal taste in the mouth and its gut-ripping grip. It also means expanding beyond the fear, and we can only do this well for others if we can do this for ourselves.

For bereaved parents, simply getting out of bed is an act of resilience.

Tacit knowledge is book knowledge, information we can memorize. It consists of information we can pass along in a lecture. It’s the facts and figures that constitute the intellectual retention of data. Contrast this with implicit knowledge, with wisdom. Tacit knowledge can be taught, yet it’s not possible to teach someone to be wise. Insights dawn

According to a recent Stanford University study, 90 percent of doctors say they would forego resuscitation and/or extraordinary means of care if they faced a terminal illness. Contrast this with the fact that most Americans die in medical institutions, even though the majority of Americans desire to die peacefully at home.

Institute for the Study of Birth, Breath, and Death

illicit substance abuse should be regarded as a public health concern rather than a criminal justice matter,

Until we work with our own fears and learn to trust our body’s powerful and innate wisdom, we will struggle to be present to the fears of another. Until we learn to calm and center, we will struggle to clearly see what is actually happening around us.

It’s natural to resist the unraveling of treasured life chapters and the loss of loved ones. Yet unraveling is inevitable. Life, as known through the senses, is impermanent. Every chapter that begins will end. All that is born dies. Distinct from pain, which is our natural physiological response to unwanted and hurtful stimuli, suffering exists in

We are trained to look honestly at our own spiritual and religious hang-ups or baggage, so as not to project our unprocessed dramas or grief onto those we are called to serve. We are trained to work with the energies of fear.