I didn’t realize how much internalized misogyny was wrapped up in my perception of women of all stripes, not just mothers. The truth was, I found fault with most of the women I encountered in the world. Every single one of them looked like a cautionary tale of what not to become. I didn’t realize yet that I was huffing the patriarchal spray paint t

Every book about marriage is also a book about mortality, since the success of any marriage is defined not by happiness or good fortune but by death.

Over time, marriage itself starts to feel like a slowly unfolding apocalypse. Your marriage will die or you will die. Which ending seems happier?

That’s life in the suburbs: pretending that nothing is bothering you while you eat something shitty.

I wanted a cross between a therapist and a cowboy.

When Bill sneezes, it’s like a blast from an air horn aimed at your face. No matter where he is in the house, his sneezes are excruciatingly loud. Somehow there are two notes involved, a screechy high one and a shouty low one. It’s as if someone in the next room has spotted a bear and they’re making this high-pitched yet also bellowing bark of hyst

The irony of living among people who place peace and quiet at the top of their priority list is that they’re often very angry.

After a while, it can be hard to know who to hate more, the people letting their dogs shit all over the place or the people thrusting their shitting-dog cartoons in your face at every turn.

My default mode on most busy days is withdrawn cynicism.