Fidelity: How to Create a Loving Relationship That Lasts

If one person keeps calm and smiles at a provocation, the whole world will have a better chance for peace.

Fear and desire are connected. Out of our original fear came a desire for the person who made us feel comfortable and safe. An infant feels, “I’m helpless; I have no means to take care of myself. I’m vulnerable. I need someone, otherwise I’ll die.”

Love has its roots to some extent in sensual desire. Sensual desire has the capacity to become love in all of us.

Otherwise, the union of two bodies becomes very monotonous after a time. Even when we’re with our partner, we continue to have the feeling of being alone. So we look for another person to be with.

When we see a form or hear a sound, we recognize it and we have a feeling and a perception about it.

He saw that day and night we seek what is already there within us. We can call it Buddha nature or awakened nature, the true freedom that is the foundation of all peace and happiness. The capacity to be enlightened isn’t something that someone else can offer to you. It’s already there inside.

But that need is actually a continuation of the original fear and desire that have been with us since we were small children.

When we’re trapped by sensual love, we spend our time worrying that the other person will leave or betray us.

Very few people know how to see love and romance in terms of impermanence and nonself. Realizing nonself, we can see ourselves in our beloveds, and see them in ourselves. At that point we become healthy, light, and happy.