Whenever you find yourself judging your partner, go back to your in-breath and out-breath, and ask, “How can I see this differently? Can I look more deeply to better understand her suffering and her difficulties?”

Both people have to heal on their own so they feel at ease in themselves; then they can become a home for each other. Otherwise, all that we share in physical intimacy is our loneliness and suffering.

We can only dispel our mutual isolation when we practice mindfulness and are able to truly come home to ourselves and each other.

When spiritual intimacy is there, then physical and emotional intimacy can be healthy, healing, and pleasurable.

We are all motivated by love. Love can be our greatest joy or—when it gets confused with craving and attachment—our greatest suffering.

All of us feel lonely and empty inside sometimes. When we have these feelings, we try to fill the vacuum by consuming food or alcohol, or by engaging in sexual activity.

You should have a chance to observe him when he sleeps. Look deeply, and see the tenderness that is revealed, the suffering, the hope, the despair that can be expressed during sleep. Sit there for fifteen minutes or half an hour, and just look.

Happiness depends first of all on having the deep desire for happiness, and then on having a spiritual path to follow. Every day, do some little thing on that path, and you will be happy. Don’t try to do big things.

You have to learn how to be comfortable with yourself and focus on making your own home within.