Ask yourself the right questions.

Introspection is key to building internal self-awareness, but aimless wandering through your own psyche probably won’t get you very far. You need a framework. To that end, Eurich has identified seven pillars of self-knowledge to help guide introspection: your personality, values, passions, aspirations, strengths, weaknesses, and something she calls “fit,” which is the environment most conducive to your well-being. Start by giving yourself the time and space to mull over each of these areas. (Eurich has even created a 14-question quiz to help you along.)

Your approach matters, too. When introspecting, it’s common for people to ask “why.” Why didn’t I get that promotion? Why do I keep fighting with my spouse? “Research has shown there are two problems with this,” Eurich said. “The question ‘why’ sucks us into an unproductive, paralyzed state. It gets us into this victim mentality.” Second, no matter how confident we are about the answer to “why,” we’re almost always wrong.

Eurich and her colleagues looked at their research over the years to see what it was self-aware people were doing differently. “We went through all of our interview transcripts and we started to see a pattern. They were almost never asking why, but they were asking themselves what,” she says. “‘What skills do I need to build in the future?’ ‘What don’t I know?’” Why questions are emotionally charged, whereas what questions are rational and figure-focused, making it easier to approach a problem objectively.

Kristin Wong • Favorite by @NYMag