I was stuck in staying one step ahead, tightly wrapped, fairly successful with hunched shoulders, filled with fears and tears, exhausted but the ultimate good sport, always cheerful or at least conversational.

I saw that I am heading (God willing) to a fat old age where I will have spent only twenty percent of any given day paying attention to life, to being where my feet are. The rest of the time will have been spent in the ticker tape of imaginings, a low-level fear about those I love, and the things I need to buy.

If you are blind or have leprosy or can’t walk, one would think you don’t need a cardboard sign to spell out the problem and your desired solution, i.e., to walk. But this would be admitting powerlessness, which was and is the scariest part of getting sober. Finally, if you are lucky, the Gift of Desperation gives you the insight that you’re in no

Most of these prophets were introverts. Jesus definitely was. He’s never really doing all that much, if you think about it. He doesn’t even tell His own stories. He’d be fired from most churches today. He’s in a world of great fear, there’s evil, violence, and need all around him, so He often finds He needs time alone—in silence, in the desert, on

Maturity is retaining a modicum of grace when you do not get your own way.

bastards.”) The paralyzed man decided to go with the ruling power. I’ve noticed more than a few people who pick Mitch McConnell over Jesus.

If I repented to avoid hell, only my actions change, not my heart or outlook. If I’m repenting by leaning in closer to life, trying not to focus on everyone and everything that annoy me, then my perspective changes and I’m kinder.

Connection to anything real, to the ancient, to the mystical, to the moment, is weak, so there is bound to be existential exhaustion.

I live in fear of bad outcomes—of climate catastrophe, war, aneurysms; and of course, snake attack.