Don't Feed the Monkey Mind: How to Stop the Cycle of Anxiety, Fear, and Worry

This is why I like to think of negative feelings as necessary feelings.

Expansive strategies for those with an over-responsible mind-set can sound selfish, especially in a culture that values loyalty and family. But being responsible for your own health and well-being is not being selfish. In fact, it is your primary duty. In an airplane emergency you put on your own oxygen mask first, before your child’s, for good rea

What is the worst that might happen? If it comes true, what would it mean about me, my life, and my future?

Expansive Mind-set: Mistakes, judgments, and criticism are signs that I have taken a risk, and are opportunities for growth.

In cognitive behavioral therapy we call this defusion. Becoming aware of this difference de-fuses—creates a distance between—the part of you that is hyperreactive to threat and the rational part of you that can notice your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations, and learn to override them when necessary.

Welcoming Breath and Ask for More, in conjunction with Thank the Monkey and Worry Time.

Expansive Mind-set: I know I will do some things well and other things poorly, and neither reflects my worth as a person (unconditional self-acceptance).

As long as I am certain, as long as I am perfect, and as long as others are okay I will be safe, able to relax, and happy.

This mind-set is often triggered when the perception of threat is centered on your status within your tribe. If the outcome of a situation could result in you being judged negatively by your family, friends, peers, or superiors, your monkey mind will sound the alarm.