Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

As we see the world in new ways, our feelings shift accordingly.

clearly distinguishes between what your view or feeling is and what the facts are.

Our anxiety results not just from having to face the other person, but from having to face ourselves. The conversation has the potential to disrupt our sense of who we are in the world, or to highlight what we hope we are but fear we are not.

One thing it may help to ask before giving up is what they would have to learn to persuade them to change or reconsider their view.

Negotiating with yourself to shift your purposes can lower the threshold of how risky the conversation is likely to be and improve the odds of a constructive outcome.

Is the Real Conflict Inside You?

A good rule to follow is: If you’re going to talk, talk. Really talk. And if you’re really going to talk, you can’t do it on the fly. You have to plan a time to talk. You have to be explicit about wanting ten minutes or an hour to discuss something that is important to you. You can’t have a real conversation in thirty seconds, and anything less tha

First, see if you can negotiate your way to curiosity. See if you can get your internal voice into a learning mode.

The point is, we are more likely to avoid this kind of problem in the future if we are more careful to communicate clearly.