Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

When you have a tough message to share, or when you are so convinced of your own rightness that you may push too hard, remember to STATE your path: • Share your facts. Start with the least controversial, most persuasive elements from your Path to Action. • Tell your story. Explain what you’re beginning to conclude. • Ask for others’ paths. Encourag

When others move to silence or violence, step out of the conversation and Make It Safe. When safety is restored, go back to the issue at hand and continue the dialogue.

Most breakthroughs in life truly are “break-withs.”

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. —GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Break free of these Fool’s Choices by searching for the and.

When it’s unsafe, you start to go blind.

Skilled people Start with Heart. That is, they begin high-risk discussions with the right motives, and they stay focused no matter what happens.

To encourage the free flow of meaning and help others leave silence or violence behind, explore their Paths to Action. Start with an attitude of curiosity and patience. This helps restore safety. Then, use four powerful listening skills to retrace the other person’s Path to Action to its origins. • Ask. Start by simply expressing interest in the ot

Remember, to know and not to do is really not to know.