Both/And: A Memoir

Writing is one of the most ancient forms of prayer. To write is to believe communication is possible, that other people are good, that you can awaken their generosity and their desire to do better.

While I had always found great personal reward in doing my job, and my job always came first, so much in my professional environment was uncertain. Anthony’s very presence was the opposite—he was uncertain about nothing. He became my rock.

As we flew out, low over the city, I was reminded how important it is to talk to a range of people on these foreign trips. They revealed far more than we could learn sitting in government complexes, talking to leaders determined to impress us with how well they were handling things.

As we sat down for lunch afterward, I realized how serene and settled I felt. Something I had never felt before. Surrounded by the people I loved most and who loved me. There was no agenda, no one was pulling out briefing cards or talking about the goals of the gathering. We were just there to be there. In fact, we were there for me.

As always, the work required a balance between putting out geopolitical fires as they arose and devising a proactive agenda that year focused on, among other things, human rights, climate change, and strengthening ties with our allies.

Even with three daughters, my parents never prioritized saving money for weddings, as our friends’ moms had done for years, but there would always be money for education.

Before me, there came generations of public servants, orators, healers, educators. Their motivations, actions, and choices created the moment I would step into. They blazed trails which allowed me to walk right on past the barriers they had faced and build a life of my choosing.

We honor the dream by doing the work. —Cleo Wade

In all these stories, the one thing that stands out to me is this: the impact of one person’s choice.