ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS/DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES: Big Red Book

Loving Parent or reparenting – The inner parent we can develop from the part of us that took action to care for ourselves as children and which can be awakened in recovery.

We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.

“If I have a result in mind when I pursue a course of action, then I am doing my own will.”

Parents abandon their children when they fail to praise or recognize a child’s true effort to please the parent. Instead most parents are quick to criticize and correct a child’s behavior but rarely find time to praise the child or to build confidence for good choices. As a result, most adult children have a critical parent inside. The critical, in

We were taught to doubt ourselves so it became natural to believe that we are wrong, defective, or uninformed.

We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.

We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.

False Self – The addicted or codependent self.

We were taught to doubt ourselves so it became natural to believe that we are wrong, defective, or uninformed.