adult children use both to mimic the feeling of being alive when in reality they are recreating a scene from their family of origin. Gossip, dramatic scenes, pending financial failure, or failing health are often the turmoil that adult children create in their lives to feel connected to reality.

Loving Parent or reparenting – The inner parent we can develop from the part of us that took action to care for ourselves as children and which can be awakened in recovery.

We were taught to doubt ourselves so it became natural to believe that we are wrong, defective, or uninformed.

In ACA, we believe we were born whole and became fragmented in body, mind, and spirit through abandonment and shame. We need help finding a way to return to our miracle state.

It is important to note that we have taken in or internalized both parents. This includes the parent who appears more functional compared to the alcoholic or chemically addicted parent. Our experience shows that the “functional” or nonalcoholic parent passes on just as many traits as the identified alcoholic. This “para-alcoholic” parent also passe

I am negative, self-critical, self-sabotaging, self-rejecting, afraid of being abandoned, and unfeeling. I never realized my penchant for negativity. I criticized myself unmercifully.

Our false self constantly seeks outward affection, recognition, or praise, but we secretly believe we don’t deserve it.

Reparenting ourselves can mean many things, but the central theme is that we are willing to challenge our critical, inner voice and to care for the child within.

Inner Child – The original person, being, or force which we truly are. Some ACA members call this the True Self.