ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS/DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES: Big Red Book

I am negative, self-critical, self-sabotaging, self-rejecting, afraid of being abandoned, and unfeeling. I never realized my penchant for negativity. I criticized myself unmercifully.

“If I can hurt you before you hurt me then I will feel powerful or in control.”

We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.

Some of these well-meaning parents learned to say affirming statements of love and encouragement. Yet, they still transferred their own self-doubt and lack of self-love in large measures.

Reparenting ourselves can mean many things, but the central theme is that we are willing to challenge our critical, inner voice and to care for the child within.

adult children seek to control others and ward off potentially shaming or abandoning situations.

If your parents did not drink, your grandparents may have drank and passed on the disease of family dysfunction to your parents.

The spiritual principles of Step Four are self-honesty and courage.

We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.